verbal gardening

honest

adjective (euphemistic). Fat. Look at that bird over there. She’s honest to a fault (over 16 stone). If someone is putting on weight they are ‘becoming more honest’ or ‘saying it how it is’. If someone has a problem with weight they can be said to be ‘frank’ or that they ‘shoot from the hip’. ‘Lying’ is the new word for slimming. Have you been lying, Mrs Elephant – Well, I can fit into these tights now, so yes I suppose I have been talking bollocks a fair bit. Invented to cover certain situations.

And

gestures

These are new gestures that could be introduced into normal conversations.

Rubbing your lips means – ‘I think you should stop talking – the guy you’re talking about can hear you’.

Pointing at a girl and nodding your head means – ‘I’d be keen to kiss her’.

Pointing at a girl and nodding your head and saying ‘already’ under your breath means – ‘I already have kissed her’.

Also known as "Mercury Poisoning", To "do a Gomez" now means to release a debut album so successful and to such unanimous praise that expectations are raised to the point where it is impossible to follow it.

I like your opinion

A useful expression to be exercised in any situation in which you feel slightly or very affronted. Best spoken with an Australian accent, it can also be employed in a humorous context to deflect a barbed comment or simply as something to say when you can’t think of anything else. Can you please keep your kids quiet? – I like your opinion! First heard by a wife’s colleague’s flatmate, spoken without thought or intention, on a bus in Brisbane.

I’ll have it for Ron

Abbreviation of I’ll have it for later on. First heard in Australia – could be spread further a field: “Originally it used to be when one was offered a cigarette, and the person being offered it would use this expression and stick it behind his ear.  He would not pass up the opportunity of a free fag, and would justify not smoking it then, by saying ‘ron, or I’ll have it for Ron.  There are non-smoking occasions (not being a smoker myself) when I have very conveniently used the expression.” Mr Matisse, January 2006

Nagathon

Slang for the act of nagging, or being nagged for an extended period of time. Invented over the Christmas period but also discovered lingering in two chick lit books: Desperate Housewives' Poster Child by Penny Bernal, and Confessions of a Bad Mother by Stephanie Calman).

Nang

Slang for ‘cool’. Originated recently in East London. An urban seed spotted by a Rare Man that will probably travel far and wide and quickly.

Noodling

Local DJ slang for chatting. Invented by DJ John Rockley on BBC Radio Gloucester: "Well, we've been noodling away about birdwatching for a while now, let's get back on track". He calls it a Rockleyism. Could there be more Rockleyisms out there?

Numnums

Slang for ‘food’. Used by the Farmer's family and C.S.Lewis. Common? It also seems to be a term for breastfeeding.

Open some cheese

To fart. Oh, my god, have you just opened some cheese? Invented when a genuine misunderstanding took place recently. A lot of people really did think someone had opened some cheese, but actually they had simply opened some cheese. It has since been found on other internet discussions regarding the phrase 'cut the cheese'.