verbal gardening

The Verbal Gardening Dictionary 

If you or someone you know has successfully invented a word, phrase or any sort of linguistic idea, please do get in touch. You can reach me at  farmer@verbalgardening.com - just let me know the word, what it means and who made it up. This list will grow and grow:

(by the way, if you also use any of these words, let me know. And if you think you know someone who invented any of the words independently, drop me a line too. Thank you!)

WORDS

Aberlashion: good idea. Eg. I’ve had an aberlashion. Judith’s small (now big) son Jake

Ajaba: good to see you (a hug in a word). Owain Llyr Williams

Amazor: sort of amazing, but more emphatic. Hannah’s friend Ed

Ambidogstrous: to pat, feed or throw a toy for two dogs at the same time with both hands, with equal dexterity to promote secure and happy canines. Shell

Androms: randoms who know Andrew (who knows everyone). Rory (Andrew’s jealous friend)

Annoyance: the collective noun for teenagers. Astrid

Arsebitch: younger brother. Harry’s older brother

Badgeroneous: unbelievable. Shocking. Alex

Bambamji: a greek word for cotton wool used to mean the inside soft spongey part of bread – not the crust. Andry and his sister

Bandspang: joining two or more band names together. Eg. ‘Kool and the Gang of Four Tops’ or ‘Napalm Death In Vegas’. Vincent Earl Esq.

Bemo: a cross between an emo (which is a cross between a goth and a chav, kind of), and a bogan (which is Australian for chav). Claire

Bjart: beautiful inside. Shelly and her friends

Blorrie: horrible. Margaret Swift’s brother

Bloxxing: stacking wiggles blocks in numbered order. Lauren’s 2 year old nephew

Bogclogger: too big to flush away. Chris Mackie

Boopie: the little black bit on the end of a peeled banana. Heather’s family

Breaticles: small boobs. Angie

Brickworks: bollocks. Clive Smith’s friends doing National Service, frightened they would say bollocks to mum on leave

Bugly: butt ugly. Amy’s friend Lucie

Bumhead: an alternative swearword. Sam’s wife Jane (who hates bad language)

Capslexic: wrong use of caps lock. Lynz (at work)

Ceplebrity: celebrities who are not deserving of being called a celebrity. Ish’s friend Ben

Cheeseshit: a smell that combines cheese and shit. Lisa Stewart

Chello: the way musicians greet each other. Jane’s friends, exasperated at constant music talk between musician mates

Choad: (formerly slang for the perineum) now the useless bit between Christmas and New Year. Nell’s friend Sam Spedding

Chob (or chobmonster): penis. Amy Sugarman’s university girlfriends

Chod: poor quality. Tom Costello

Chubnubb: that piece of back breast that you love to grab. Justin Young and Paulette Gallant

Cockchafer: trouble maker. Ryan Corkery

Cocknose: idiot. Charlotte’s friend Al

Coolio Inglesias: cool. Adrian (he thinks)

Coolth: A cool spot in a warm place. Donna Demille

Concretize: to make more clear. An American called Larry

Cowlet: baby cow. Cheryl

Croogan: an all-encompassing force that you must accept. Laura Turner

Crotchcollink: a windy or jagged path, usually downhill and best taken at speed. Gregory

Cupboardy: cupboard like. Marc

Dag: to stab, specifically with a dagger. Copstick’s sister Susan

Dawiki: tv remote control. Tess’s family

Dibble: penis. Steve’s dad

Dingbat: a silly person. Jo Phipps’s dad

Dillian: the biggest number you can think of, plus one. Derek’s mate JP

Dilligaf: do I look like I give a f***? Anne

Disembarkation: to disembark. A dozy air hostess on BMI baby.

Disgusterous: bad. anon

Dolb: an abnormally large forehead that you could project a movie onto (in Dolby surround sound). Joe and Maddie

Donger: remote control. Someone’s mum

Doubris: (pronounced do-bree) remote control for tv. James Templeman

Erckon: a little inexplicably cute ugly thing. Helen

Ergonomic: a shape that helps you. Katie’s dad

Ewe: (pronounced ee-way) an expression of joy, excellent. Patrick Milton

Feather: to annoy. Eg my cousin feathered me with his snoring. Will

Flobes: little bulbs. Ian’s Uncle Charlie

Fluff: fart. Anon’s gran

Flump: an indeterminate amount of time (but two flumps is twice as long as one flump). A project manager who Tim knows

Foid: matter that used to be food. Al

Foofy: a nonsense word to say when tickling or when your hair is big and fluffy. Anon and his godson

Forgettennyknots: forget-me-nots. Mike Pryce’s son

Furke: what you do in your shed, ie potter about. Elaine Fyfe’s husband (who likes his shed)

G-flex: g – as in gangster, flex – as in behaviour. It means good thing or awesome. Eg. That was a g-flex film. Charissa’s sister Shayon

Gigantanormous: absolutely huge. Matt Pritchard

Goff: get off. Brian

Goive: I don’t care. Tom Ferguson’s generation at school

Gone-peared: like disappeared, only in kid-speak. David

Greching: moaning. Claire Robb’s mum

Gucky: mix of ‘gore’ and ‘gucky’ to describe impressive amounts of blood and violence in a horror movie. Rachel’s brother Martin

Gully: rubbish. Dean

Gunt: bulge on a woman. Ronan (an unhappy man who’s wife let it go)

Guorm: three day-old sperm. David Lale

Hookum-flucals: the lurgi. Chris’s grandma

Hoop: everything. James Westrop

Hoopsicle: bicycle. Emma Dummett’s mother’s twin brother and sister

Humpelman: someone who never stops moving. Stefan Gries

Ivydener: a big full English breakfast. Mary’s dad

Jeffery: toilet. Simon’s grandad

JFF: jolly festive fun. Stanno

Jiffle: fidget, shift around whilst watching tv. Anon (Norfolk)

Jitty: little room/corridor/cupboard/undefined space. Sue Cousins (Lincolnshire)

Jobbing: to sit around, fart about and watch Jeremy Kyle (to be unemployed). Mike’s mate G (Gareth)

Joogle: anything. Eg. I forgot to buy the joogle. You have to change the joogle. Can you pass the joogle. Trace’s sister (who is mad)

Jumpery: used when trying to identify whether a present is good or not. Eg. ‘is it a toy?’ ‘no, it’s a bit jumpery’. Louise’s brother

Kerfuffled: the active state of making a kerfuffle or commotion. Jonny

Kingcough: piles. Anton’s dad

Kitten-drowner: bin-liner. Nat Edwards

Krunk: high energy. James Palmer

Maheelywoohla: brrr. Katy’s mum and her cousin

Malogent: something completely disastrous. David’s friend

Mankilicious: horrible. Louise

Mantastic: something really good happening that’s only relevant if you’re a bloke. Lee Hume’s mate Bruce Cook (or possibly someone else)

Mardy: having a strop. Joe Brumby’s nan (or other northerners0

Marmalise: rough up in playful fun. Matt’s dad

Melt: a knob of a person. Stuart’s friend Adi

Milk: the good stuff. E.g that band were milk. The phrase can be extended to 'full phat milk' or 'that's really milk, man.' Matt Pritchard

Minky: female private parts. Anna Emerson

Misanthropology: a mixture of misanthropy and anthropology. Lloyd

Monosation: dialogue between two people where only one is listening. anon

Muriel: mural. Mary Morris’s daughter

Narractio: like narration, but more effective. Richard

Ninnyhe: silly person. Sally Rose’s dad

Nube: idiot. Becks’ friend Richie Crosbie

Nug (or nuggy): something that is good (it’s backwards for gun, which is bad). Anna Yates, when she was 6

Nurple: to root around for something (eg in a bag). Hannah White’s physics teacher

Oblongular: a hybrid of oblong and rectangular. Beth

Oh my frog: you can’t say ‘oh my god’ because he’s not real so it’s ‘oh my frog’. Zoe Cash

Omad: one meal a day diet. Jess and Matt’s dad

Oppie: helicopter (an oppie with an eye: a police helicopter). Deborah Slack

Oxter: armpit. Tania’s mum

Pertish: mild, generic insult for those who don’t turn up for things. Graeme Cooper

Phenomental: both phenomenal and mental (it was a genius typo). Kate Cousins

Pignip: cygnet. Elizabeth’s son

Pimps: easy peasy. Chloe

Ponglax: it’s like a leaf with concrete on it. Ben and his brother

Poodly-poodlies: (pronounced like good) furry slippers with animal faces. Karol and Martin London’s 18 month old son

Poshie: mushed up breakfast. E.g weetabix and porridge. Alison’s mum (but she denies it)

Ramdi: ramshackle and dilapidated (when looking at houses). Ali

Ricockulous: a slightly ruder version of ridiculous as cock and dick are largely interchangeable in our vernacular. Chad and his brother

Romancesic: people that are so romantic it makes you feel sick. Matt Dishman’s girlfriend

Romicide: romantic suicide. Sophie

Saussoige: sausage. Kate Gething

Savvo: good or great. Matt

Schnibble: totty (as in hot men). The Cleary men

Schnuddles: cuddles. Emma aka Riley

Scrumble: mess or muddle. Maz

Scruttocks: the area between a man’s scrotum and buttocks (also known as ‘gooch’). Alex’s friend Danyal.

Shambaru: one who acts and talks in a shambolic way. David

Shooner: sheet and dooner (duvet) combination. Adam

Skiddle: poor liquid from one vessel to another. Eleanor’s grandmother

Skwigledefroglepops: a word you say randomly when someone has dejavu cos they won’t have heard that before. Steph’s ex, Phil

Slattery: to drop a whole pile of building materials exactly where asked not to on the most precious plant in the garden – as originally done by a certain Mr Slattery. Martin and Karol London

Smoggie (or smog): the sponge used to clean the bathroom with (and sometimes the kitchen). Julie Bowden’s husband Steve

Smuttering: a very small innuendo. Peter

Sneck: to laugh at someone harshly to their face. anon

Snoze: past tense of sneeze, as in ‘oops, I snoze’. Claire

Snugglevision: to watch tv and snuggle. Rory May

Sodyouko: sudoko. William Hogg

Speng: idiot. Aaron’s friend and Jeremy Schmitz

Splendiforous: wonderful. Amy Hopwood’s dad (she thinks)

Spoetsh (or shpooz): a little thing (such as face cream tester). anon

Spon: to touch your rival’s nose with the palm of your hand. Theo’s dad

Spoonacile: to be a massive prick. Thomas

Squazz: to take a mouthful of another person’s drink. Duncan

Squiggle: squirrel. Mark’s grandad

Swatchies: something minor stolen. Anthony

Telepathetic: someone who can't read minds. Matt Pritchard

Testicide: any way of removing oneself from the gene pool. Jamie Cutteridge

Thwirk: idiot. Gill

Ticklies: thunderflies. Anon’s three year old daughter

Toltsie: babyish. Mark Coleman’s mum Joan

Toot: rubbish. The Funde and Schmitz families

Tret: the past tense of treat. Miriam’s nan

Tristaning: christening your kid with a gratuitously fancy name. Jonny Gowland

Trunk: tired and drunk. Becky

Tumbly: the people that steal your food when you are not looking. Lucy’s step-dad

Twoddler: remote control. Elen’s dad

Tyred: run over. Colin Huber

Vamo: no meaning – used when losing at scrabble. Debbie’s son

Village: rubbish. Mike Atherton

Voluntold: to be forced to volunteer for something. Joe T’s kind camp director at the summer camp he worked at

Wendy: a spot in one’s cleavage, named after an unfortunage girl at my sixth form college. Margaret

Wiggy: getting annoyed. Caitlin Knight’s dad

Windly-string: a skinny person. Mary’s dad

Wommy: to describe a person or thing as funny/crazy/good/silly/dizzy. Lesley’s family

Wonkered: very drunk. Dan Reed

Wurging: to merge two words making a new one. Eg feducation (fun and education). Amelia Gildea’s friend

Wuzzi: vagina. Sophie (when aged 5)

PHRASES

A right noddy: he’s the prat with a bell on his hat. The Hobbs family

Are you taking my shoes off? are you taking the piss out of me? Helen (in the pub)

Bacon sniffer: vegetarian who still likes bacon or bbqs. Keir, Graeme and Fiona

Bat's arse: making a complete mess of a task. E.g you've made a complete bat's arse of that! M. Pritchard

Better than a slatter up your nose: things could be worse. Linda’s husband’s grandfather

Biddy fiddler: someone attracted to much older women. Glen

Blancmange man: someone without personality or taste. Daniel Corbett

Catchin’ the train to Skaville: to smoke a joint (or a Juan Pablo Montayo). John-Mark’s friend James

Cheesy toothpaste: Primula spread (in a tube). Bruce

Chop suey: hurry up. Christina

Composting a ticket: when you’re in mainland Europe and you have to stamp your train ticket with the date and time before you get on the train, we don’t have a specific verb but in French it’s ‘composter’ so on family holidays someone always checks if we’ve composted the train ticket. Bethan

Dirty Emma: a slovenly house-wife. David’s grandmother

Dolly the Doctor: refers to the cloned Doctor Who in the recent series finale. Jane

Elephant ear: the feeling when you’ve been sleeping on one side and your ear hurts. anon

Face cushion: beard. Carl Donnelly

Fridge door: used as a verb to mean a way of sharing out expenses on a group holiday (from where we first kept the receipts). Kevin Madley

Flowery onion: a pass-wind. Claire (who takes some drugs)

Going to Trumpton: farting. Dan’s friend (not sure which one, could have been Orman)

Grimble pie: trifle when the jelly hasn’t set. Alison Sarsfields

Gwing gong: plastic washing basket. Julia

H and H: it happens and it hurts. Chris (now 48, invented when aged 5)

Hairy orange: the bits in freshly squeezed orange juice. Emma’s daughter Holly

Having a technical: when you see someone do the dirty deeds in your head with just a shared glance. Roisin

Hell’s teeth and buckets of blood: damn and blast. Anon

Horse shirt: funky t-shirt. Tamara Astor

I am eating a banana sandwich: I can’t tell you right now (used when in company). Jemima

It’s cold enough for a three wheel bike: it’s really cold. Jo’s granddad

Just Gaz it: an exhortation to adopt a no-nonsense approach to getting things done. Debbie’s tour crew

Long cut: to go around the houses. Bill Miller’s son

Monkey hand: when you put your hand in a packet of crisps and can’t get it out cos it’s so full of crisps. Helen and her boyfriend

Morning long foot: when you wake up and your socks are half off. Gary

Mr Mish: Michelin. Gill Lubel’s dad

Noggler noo: very bad headache or migraine. Kelly’s father-in-law

Not shot: opposite of ‘hot shot’. Ed Baker

Pool face: the resulting smug self-satisfied smile of a man who has done well (a good shot) but can’t admit it. Christopher Allinson

Psychic meander: the way in which a slow walker will veer into your path while you attempt to overtake them. Simon Scott

Robust about the face: not very pretty. Michael Doyler

Sleep debt: when you’ve slept too little. Chris

Smoking the drapes: some proposal so ridiculous that the person(s) who prososed it would have ‘smoked the drapes’. Don Shipley

Snek yur thrapple: shut your hole. Jane Tabor

Speed lounge: fast dancy orchestral music. Christopher May

Telephone terror: when your girlfriend terrorises you at work with texts or phonecalls. Stefan Gries

Window whiskers: windscreen wipers. Stina

Wishy washy: windscreen wiper cleaning fluid. Sarah