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adjective (abbreviation). Used to describe an unsatisfactory thing or situation or as a cry of disgust: The weather forecast? Absolute bollo; what a bollo man he turned out to be; That’s bollo Cisse! or simply: This is Bollo. Tested successfully over the Christmas period.
demi noun (monetary). A 50 pence piece. (To a checkout worker) Hang on. I think I've got a demi here somewhere. Other denominations are as follows: Kent = a one pence coin (the cheapeast monopoly property). Whitey = a two pence coin (the second cheapest monopoly property). Cutter = a ten pence coin (it's the coin that prisoners sharpen to cut other prisoners). Crab = a twenty pence coin (they're seven sided and there's an urban myth that crabs have a seventh leg they keep inside their shell for emergencies). Hope and Glory = a twenty pound note (there's a picture of Elgar on the back). Invented to cover certain situations.
adjective (slang). Used to describe something really really shit and a little bit pretentious. Learning Arabic – that’s properly games. Juice bars - they're pretty games too. Invented with an eye on fitting in with the cadence commonly found in metropolitan youth-speak, seen for example in the word “butter” meaning ugly. The word “game” might perhaps be seen to express something of dilettante toying without commitment, while the plural hints at an unending torrent of wankerish behaviour.
honest idiom (slang). Fat.
noun (slang). Money esp cash: He paid me a pile of honk for that job. I can't come out tonight: I'm right out of hoot. Invented as a deliberate semantic shift as part of a neologistic pincer movement.
mental safari (to go on) idiom (slang). When someone goes mad for a few moments or gets ridiculously tongue tied, or does a series of rash acts. Over the past year it seems, Harry Redknapp has been on a mental safari, prior to his return to
paddles noun (plural). Hands. It's a new word for Hands. Look, I've got dirty paddles. A practical invention.
pratdigger noun (slang). Pickpocket. Just be careful on the Ramblas, watch out for those crafty pratdiggers. *pratdigger a pickpocket. Can also mean that friend of yours who always has a shit girlfriend everyone has to put up with, or a crap best mate from school they always ask out with you, or the person who finds the most obnoxious person at a party and exposes everyone to them: i.e. someone who digs up prats. Invented some time ago and used as two words (prat digger) in connection with the first meaning (pick pocket) but now unknown. A lot of potential for respiration and rejuvenation.
tkday noun. A person's 10,000th day on earth, traditionally celebrated with a Tkday Party (the traditions of which are still to be ironed out). It represents the time in someone's life when they actually are an adult (rather than 16, 18 or 21 years - which are arbitrary and wrong). It's about this time in life that you should probably know how to change a tyre/fuse/partner, not feel too awkward when you meet other adults and have vague but nagging thoughts about starting a pension. Etymology: the modern sounding T and K are thought to stand for Ten K (ten thousand) but could also refer to a Mr Tim Key who recently celebrated a significant milestone of his own and sort of represents the 'coming of age' values of a Tkday, even if it's because he's sometimes not that good at adult things like bank statements, driving or not getting locked out of your own house on your birthday and waking up the next morning on someone else's sofa with red wine on your t-shirt and someone else's sofa. THIS IS A FLEXIBLE DEFINITION. It's a bit like wikipedia but you won't get told off if you add something that's a bit silly or fun. Add something that's a bit silly or fun!
Extra: urban myths Here are a couple of myths that are currently being spread: It’s impossible to balance a shoe on a shoe. Natasha Kaplinsky is 6'2" tall.
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